Weekly Column: Making Resolutions a Reality

©Stephenie Freeman

Here it is, my last column of 2009. Hard to believe that another busy year is coming to a close. Guess it’s time to take a minute and reflect. Time to look back on all of those New Year’s resolutions I made this past year and see what I accomplished. I better get a glass of wine to help me through this one. Maybe even two.

Resolution #1: Eat less, exercise more. Oh the resolution to end all resolutions. Why any of us continue to have this resolution is beyond me, but I actually accomplished this one this year. Well, sort of. If there’s a loophole to be found when it comes exercise and dieting, I’ll find it. On the days I didn’t have time to exercise I ate less and on the days that I actually exercised I ate as much as I wanted.

Resolution #2: Keep the house clean. I’m not a slob, but no matter how hard I tried I could never get my whole house clean. All I wanted was to walk in to find everything neat and tidy and smelling fresh instead of cluttered and messy and smelling of little boys’ feet. So after years of debating of whether or not this stay-at-home mama could justify the expense, I finally hired some help with the “heavy lifting.” Who says you can’t take the easy way out, even when it comes to resolutions?

One glass of wine down, two more resolutions to go.

Resolution # 3: Complain less. You might find this hard to believe, but I am very good at complaining. I’ll complain that the room is too hot and that my feet are too cold. I’ll complain that I don’t get enough sleep, enough time to myself, or enough help around the house. But all my complaining gets me nowhere except frustrated. In truth I am blessed beyond what I deserved and I was spending way too much time sweating the small stuff. So throughout 2009 I worked hard to see the wine glass as half full. The Golfer thought it was the best resolution I ever made and has his fingers crossed that it will continue into the New Year.

Resolution #4: Spend more time with the boys. This resolution is misleading considering that I spend more time with my children that anyone else on the planet. I am with them 24/7. I am at every practice, every school event, and every playdate. I am there cooking their meals, putting away their laundry, and checking their homework. No one is with them more than I am.

As I come to the bottom of my second glass of wine (which still looks half full) I have to admit that this was the one resolution that I didn’t achieve this year. For all of the time that I am with my boys, I’m not really with them. They don’t have my full, undivided attention. So for 2010, I only have one resolution. I’m going to sit on the carpet and play more board games. I’m going to let them beat me at Wii golf and I’m going to get out the craft box more regardless of the mess that is made or how many glasses of wine it takes.

In order to make my resolution a reality, I’ve decided make a change in 2010. I made the difficult decision to cut back. Go with the whole “less is more” approach. From now on, my column will be appearing only once a month, the first Sunday of each month. I’m sure you understand, Dear Reader. All Mama wants in 2010 is more time with her kids.

May you and yours be blessed in the New Year and may all of your resolutions become a reality.

We've just been so social lately

There once was a time when the Golfer and I were very social. Our social calendars were busy and full. And then we had children and things slowed way down. Now our social calendars are their social calendars.

But every once in a while we get to spend time with our friends. Last night we had a lovely dinner at some friends' house. Their kids and our kids ran wild and ate pizza, but mostly it was an adult evening that included lots of red wine.

Then today we were visited by some dear friends from Oklahoma. They were in town (such an Okie term isn't it?) visiting family and we were fortunate to get to spend a little time with them. Our kids played and ate grilled cheese, but we managed plenty of adult conversation in spite of them.

These goofy yahoos had such a ball together and weren't nearly as onry as they look. (I love the word "onry." It was one of my Grandaddy's favorite words and now I know why.)

{BTW--I hate myself at this angle. Of course, I hate pictures of myself in general, but if someone knows a good angle for picture taking, I'd appreicate it if you'd pass it along.}

This is my dear friend, Foshee. We're not as onry as we look either. It was a beautiful day in Southern California (65 and sunny for all of you back home enduring the snow) and we chatted and watched our kids play at the park and ate at a yummy little cafe. The only problem was that we were missing our four other musketeers that are usually with us (that would be you Kristi, Amy, Niki, and Erin.) Our little group tries to get together at least once a year and we laugh and talk funny and share and laugh and commiserate and laugh and enjoy each other so much. Oh how I miss these sweet friends. They bless me even though they're all 1,300 miles away.

Thursday night, so celebrate NYE (that's New Year's Eve) we're going out with our new friends Tom and Lisa who we so enjoy spending time with and can't wait to do more of it.

This time we're going out without our children. I wonder if we'll be able to be social without them?

Merry (belated) Christmas!

(scanning our card didn't work so well. it actually says, "we wish you peace, love, and joy" and we do!)

Weekly Column: Mama's yearly letter to Santa

©Stephenie Freeman

(originally run on Christmas Eve, 2009)

Dear Santa,

It was great to see you the other day at the mall. The boys enjoyed their short visit. The Cheese mentioned something about being on the nice list again this year which didn’t surprise me one bit. I’m not sure, but I have a feeling The Monkey might still be riding the infamous fence. I wish there was something I could say to help his case, but out of fear of accidentally pushing him onto the Naughty side forever, I think it’ll be in his best interest to just keep my mouth shut.

There sure were a lot of kids in line to see you that night. Must be fun feeling like such a rock star day after day. I love watching you visit with all of the smiling, well-groomed children. And so well-behaved too! Even though the line was long, each boy and girl stood there quietly, trying their best to keep their holiday excitement contained. I just wish their parents were as well-manned and polite as they were.

Did you notice that every parent standing in line that night seemed to be in a bad mood? One man in front of us was particularly grumpy. He complained and grumbled so loudly that after a while even the Cheese looked at me and said, “That guy’s on the Naughty List for sure!” I couldn’t help but agree.

Unfortunately at Christmastime behind every smiling child there is a completely stress-out parent on holiday overload. You know how it is, Santa. The month of December is filled with errands and activities in overabundance, jamming our already busy schedules with even more. And unfortunately, when you are in the midst of creating oodles of holiday delight for all to enjoy, it’s hard to enjoy it much yourself.

I have a theory: The first Mama who added a little nip of whiskey to her Egg Nog didn’t do it because it tasted good; she did it in order to survive.

I’ll admit, I have been feeling a little Scrooge-like this holiday season, Santa. I must officially be grown-up because I seem to have lost all of my child-like Christmas enthusiasm. And I don’t think I’m the only one. When I’m at the mall or the Post Office or simply driving down the street it seems like the world is filled with adults who have lost all of their festive Christmas cheer.

It’s like when Charlie Brown asked in his Christmas special, “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?” We’ve forgotten that we should be celebrating all of the love and joy and peace that the holiday season brings. Instead all we do is complain with the nasty intensity of The Grinch and Scrooge combined.

Santa, this year Mama wants more Holiday Cheer. Not just for me, but for all of the adults in need. Personally, I’d like one of those jumbo sized popcorn tins that you see at Wal-Mart filled with Holiday Cheer so any time that I start to feel it fading, I can simply open the can and grab another handful. I want to open the lid and be reminded what the holiday season is really all about. And if there’s a little caramel corn in there to munch on, well that’d be okay too.

I know that bringing holiday cheer to the world isn’t an easy job, but if anyone can pull it off, I know that you can, but I’ll be sure to leave a bottle of whiskey next to your glass of Egg Nog…just in case. And as always, please give my best to Mrs. Claus.

Love, Mama

Making room in their rooms for the impending flood.

:: Christmastime at The Del ::

I got busy yesterday cleaning up the boys' rooms. There were cardboard boxes being used as forts and shoeboxes filled with rocks. Something needed to be done.

My real motivation was the anticipation of the impending flood. We have 50 presents under the tree and all of them are for the boys. And Santa hasn't even shown up yet!

So I got in there and did one of those secret trash bags swoops, where all of the Happy Meal toys, broken Transformers, and all of the other "junk" that has made its way into their room magcially disappears.

But I even did more than that. I decided to rearrange, move things around. And do you know what happened? The boys rediscovered their toys. There was lots of "I forgot all about this!"

It was like...Christmas.

Weekly Column: ‘Twas two weeks before Christmas

(orinially run December, 2007)
© Stephenie B. Freeman

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through the land
The parents were trying to meet their kids’ every demand.
The lists had been written, on Santa’s lap they had sat
They knew exactly what they wanted, there was no denying that.
Their stockings won’t be big enough to hold all of their stuff
Looking at everything I’ve bought, it certainly seemed like enough.
But then the Sunday paper comes with all of its flyers
Who knew they could attract so many young buyers.

The reminders how constant, the lists how they grow
How children get this greedy, we parents will never know.
So with the children at home being watched by a sitter
I left to go shopping—no time to be a quitter.

Away to the mall I flew like a flash
Tore through the toy store wishing I had brought some more cash.
Then what to my wondrous eyes should appear
But the last gift I needed—a talking Buzz Lightyear.
With a small yellow tag, marked down to a cheaper price
Finding something on sale during Christmas definitely felt nice.

More rapid than eagles I flew to the checkout line
It was starting to get late, almost a quarter past nine.
The line barely moved as I continued to wait
Seems that someone needed a price check for a toy on aisle eight.
Looking at the parent in front of me, I couldn’t believe what I saw
A cart piled with toys reaching at least three feet tall!
There were Legos, and board games, and Star Wars galore
More Barbies and Webkins than any girl could ask for.

“Wow,” I said. “Someone at your house has been good.
Your kids are sure lucky. Mine tried the best they could.”

“Oh no,” she replied. “These aren’t for me.
These toys are for kids who won’t get anything under their tree.
I volunteer at a local shelter. It’s a wonderful place.
It’s so rewarding to bring a smile to a child’s young face.”

“We do this every year,” she told me. “My kids and I.
It’s best to teach about giving when it’s for someone less fortunate you buy.”

I thought for a moment about the greedy munchkins living at my house
And suddenly I felt no bigger than a mouse.
The lessons at my house that had been taught
Were about how the better you are, the more you got.
Topics like being generous I had forgotten to mention
Lessons on giving back hadn’t gotten much attention.

At last checking out, with the toys in my sack
I started to wonder how my family could give back.
I walked past a bell ringer on my way out the door
I gave the last of my change, but knew I needed to do more.
I said not a word, just sat in my car feeling sick
Knowing I needed to think up something and think it up quick.

“You could do the same thing,” a voice whispered in my head.
I suddenly felt relieved and had nothing to dread.
There was still time to do it, to teach the power of giving
We would head to the shelter so my kids could see how other people were living.

So the next day we headed out, with our car loaded with toys
Some for girls, but a lot more for little boys.

“We’re taking them to kids,” I told them, “who don’t have very much--
Special things like skateboards and Play Stations and Gameboys and such.
There are children in this world whose blessings are few.
I bet that is something that you never knew.”

“But why,” my son asked, “are we giving this all away?”
I suddenly knew that this lesson would take more than just one day.

Arriving at the shelter we went straight to work
I unloaded the car and then turned with a jerk.
A man working there thanked us, I said I hoped we could do more
And wished them all a Merry Christmas as we headed out the door.
But I heard the little voice in my head say as I drove out of sight,
“Good job, Mama! You’ll sleep better tonight!”

Reason #1 Why I Love the Mall at Christmastime...

Pictures with Santa.

:: ho, ho, ho ::